Crazy news

Ever notice how the news is just really weird sometimes? Sure, it's usually bad, but sometimes it's just...wow!!

For example...today I read that (and this is a direct quote from the article on the WMUR webpage...) "Prince Philip has set a record for the longest-serving consort of a British monarch." Longest-serving consort?? Consort?! Seriously now, is it just me or does that make Prince Philip sound like a whore? Is saying "Queen Elizabeth's husband, Philip" so horrible or difficult?

And speaking of those crazy royals...Her Majesty's oldest grandson (Princess Anne's son) got married this weekend to some Canadian chick. Girlie apparently converted from Roman Catholicism to Anglicanism so that her hunny wouldn't have to renounce his opportunity to claim the throne someday. I can see converting if you have taken a spiritual journey and realize you believe something different than what you thought you believed...but to do it so he can have an opportunity to be King? Come on! The guy is 11th in line for the throne!!!! WHAT are the odds that the right 9 people are all going to drop dead BEFORE Queen Elizabeth does???

A little something to possibly consider when making travel plans: according to the BBC website, a 2 year survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international standards are too big for most Indian men. Take that information and do with it what you must.

What else? Oh! I guess there's a lake in central Massachusetts...a lake with a 45-letter name. Yes, I said 45 letters. It's in Webster, Mass. And just so you get the full effect, I'm going to put the name on its own line

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

Noooooo....no Native American influence there! ;) Apparently some folks are uppity because some signs have misspellings in them. I get that things should be spelled correctly but who is gonna notice if it's an H and not an N when they're doing 65 mph down the freakin' highway?! (As a side note: a local legend claimed it roughly translated to "I'll fish my side. You fish your side. No one fishes the middle." This legend was apparently debunked, but I like it, so I'm going with it. I'm a sucker for a good legend. Can't help it.)

You gotta know I'm gonna throw in something that shows us the true stupidity of some people, right? Well, some moron in Colorado (?) just got 4 years probation for telling an off-duty pilot that he had five pounds of explosives that security had missed. He didn't have anything, but still...what kind of friggin' idiot says that in a post 9/11 world?! Where has this guy been since 2001? I'm sorry, I really think people this stupid need to be removed from the gene pool - one way or another.

And on a final, more serious note...that poor little girl in California...Sandra Cantu. What an awful story. If you've been following the story, her Sunday School teacher has been charged with killing and raping her. (And before I go on, obviously, she's innocent until proven guilty.) I guess the police department in Tracy, CA is getting dozens of calls a day saying that there's "no way" she did that...or that she wasn't acting alone because "no mother would do that to a child" or something like that. OK...I read enough true crime to know that sure, statistically speaking the odds are against it. Only 1% of forcible rapes are committed by women. And usually with something like this, there's a domineering freak of a boyfriend that some weak woman is trying to please. So no, it doesn't seem possible. But remember 40 years ago, no one would have thought it possible that a group of people would walk into a house full of complete strangers and kill everyone there. And yet...it happened...

So remember, my friends...the world is full of crazies. Some are amusing. Some are dangerous. Some are so stupid, it's scary.

No names mentioned, but somebody went back to Spider-Bite...

I'll admit it - this one hurt more than the others. But it's all good. It's all about the pain, my friends. The ink and jewelry are just souvenirs. ;)

Anyway, that's the latest tattoo. It's a memorial one for my parents. The phrase is Latin for "Prepared for all things." Once again - Eric did fabulous work.

Already got my next one planned out. Just gotta wait til I have the cash. Don't worry...I'll show you when I do it.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

So I'm convinced now that the world has gone crazy. Totally off the freakin' deep end. First, there was the issue of half gallons of ice cream being only 1.75 quarts. And yeah, I gotta tell you, I still think it's dumb that if you have real live cash money in your hand, you can not rent a car. I mean, hey, the damn bills say "Legal tender for all debts, public and private." But as of today, I've seen it all, my friends. And I don't like it. Not one bit.

Today after work, I hit the grocery store. The plan was to buy the fixin's for lobster rolls. Well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that in order to make lobster rolls, one needs lobster. Anyway, I'm strolling thru my local Super Stop & Shop, getting my scallions, my lemons, my herbs...and I head towards the deli to buy the lobster. I paced around for a few minutes...muttering to myself...wondering aloud where the hell the lobster tank had gone. I finally asked an employee and was told...no word of a lie now.... "We don't carry fresh seafood any more."

HUH?! This is New England, for crying out loud...what do you MEAN you don't carry fresh seafood?!?!?!?!? I was in shock, but I calmly walked around and put my groceries back. Then I drove to Shaw's Supermarket and bought my lobster. It was farm raised, but it's still Maine lobster.

Naturally, after I came home and put the lobster on to cook, I emailed Stop & Shop. Asked them who the rocket scientist was that came up with that bright idea. And I made a point of telling them I will be more than happy to spend my family's grocery budget at Shaw's, instead...if that's what they want. :)

No, it's not PMS. I'm just a bitch. :)

I'd rather have a platypus

A lot of people say that the duck-billed platypus is proof of God's sense of humor. I've got better proof. Way better. And you know what? God not only has a sense of humor, He has a warped sense of humor. Very, very warped. It manifests itself every summer around this time and believe me, it's so horrifying that I block it out the rest of the year.

It's the All-Star game. The mid-summer classic that actually puts my beloved BoSox on the same team as the dreaded Evil Empire. The SAME team! How sick is that??!! Obviously, I want the American League to win but for crying out loud, that means cheering for A-Fraud and Jeter!!! And that's bad enough in and of itself but they couldn't even invite Johnny "He's Dead to Me" Damon along to at least make it worth my while???!!! That's just not right.

Apparently, God didn't get the memo about my new tattoo.

Payback's a bitch

Karma has a funny way of working itself, know what I mean? Take, for instance, the whole OJ Simpson thing. Sure, he walked on the criminal charges, but c'mon, we all know he's guilty as sin, right?? Well, that's what I think, anyway, and remember - this is my blog, so what I think is what counts in these parts. ;)

Anyway, check this - the Goldmans apparently bought the rights to OJ's canceled book - "If I Did It." They now own the copyright, media rights and movie rights. Also with the deal came OJ's name, likeness and life story!! How freakin' cool is that??!!

OH! And the best part - I guess they're thinking of renaming the book "Confessions of a Double Murderer." TOO FREAKIN' FUNNY!

See, what comes around goes around. Teeheee I love it!

Ranting and Raving...again

So...Monday was the observance of Memorial Day. Went up to a ceremony at the VA Medical Center. There I was, beaming with pride at the sight of my godson, Josh, in his uniform. Rep. Carol Shea-Porter (who, btw, is the first woman from NH elected to the US House) was unable to attend the ceremony, so she sent her district director, Dudley Dudley with a statement. (I swear to God, that's the woman's name...it's not a typo.) Anyway, after Dudley read Shea-Porter's statement, from the back of the crowd, someone yelled "Tell Shea-Porter to support the troops!" That's all he did. One simple little statement. The next thing you know, he's being escorted off the property. My eyes darted to the flagpole. Had I somehow been transported to Nazi Germany or China or some other restrictive place?? No...the Stars and Stripes were still flying. And yet, the guy was still being hauled off by the cops. I was furious!

The story was in the local paper the next day. The cop that hauled the guy away was quoted as
saying that people who demonstrate must get permission in advance. Demonstration?? It was a comment. Plain and simple. And get this...the cop was also quoted as saying "I fully support the First Amendment but we have policies in place." HUH?!

First up, it disturbs me that a law enforcement official would start a sentence with "I fully support the First Amendment but..." But what?! You either support it or you don't. There are no "but"s involved. Sure, rights come with responsibilities. But for crying out loud, he didn't yell "FIRE" in a crowded theater or anything. He was respectful enough to wait until Dudley had finished the statement. He didn't swear or anything. He stated the obvious - that our troops need support. All he did was say it loudly.

Then there's the whole "...we have policies in place" issue. Policies?? What the hell does that mean?? How can a policy overrule the Constitution?! Does a policy suddenly make it OK to ignore the Bill of Rights or do something else despicable? I mean, seriously, if Hitler had said "Well, sure, the Jews are people but we have policies in place" ...would that have made the Holocaust alright??!! POLICIES??!! WTF?!?!

My uncle spent nearly two years in a flea-ridden, louse-infested German POW camp to make sure that guy had the right to voice his opinion. Josh is in the National Guard for the same reason. Their service and the service of every other veteran says that my Constitution trumps your freakin' policy, pal!! Escorting that guy off the property disrespects every sacrifice ever made by the brave men and women of our Armed Forces. And don't insult my intelligence...that had nothing to do with "policy." It was all about a power trip. Maybe the cop has seen too many episodes of "TJ Hooker" or something . I dunno. But I know this - I don't like it. If I wanted to live in Nazi Germany, I'd build myself a time machine.

Some feel his comment was accurate but the time and place were inappropriate. Me? Well, I think it was the perfect time and place. If you can't voice your opinion at a ceremony honoring those that died to preserve that right, where CAN you voice it??

Oops! I did it again!

Once again, I've taken a little trip to Spider-bite, my friendly, neighborhood piercing/tattoo shop. And there it is...the latest addition to the canvas that is me. I'll admit, I was torn between two designs...

I was kinda thinking about getting the Red Sox alternate logo...you know, the baseball with the pair of red socks in it. I went to talk to Eric, my tattoo artist. He said he'd done a few of those, but had never seen the other design I brought with me. What's the only thing I love more than the Red Sox?? Hating the Yankees, of course!! So there it is, folks...my official Yankee Hatah tattoo...complete with devil horns and devil tail to remind everyone that looks at my left calf how very evil the Evil Empire actually is. Eric did fantastic work! I love the shading. It actually looks like stitching. Anyway, that's the scoop on the new ink. I'm totally psyched!