Note to a Terrorist

I don't want to keep things bottled up, so I decided to write a letter to Zacarias Moussaoui. I'm only posting it here, but I think venting will feel good, so here's hoping to Allah that the jerk reads this someday...

Zacarias -

I've been reading how pissed off you are at your lawyers for not doing a better job of keeping you off of Death Row. I guess I'm a bit confused. Aren't you extremist types supposed to WANT to die for your cause? Sure, on Death Row you don't get the "blaze of glory" you were shooting for, but what the hell? Dying for the cause is dying for the cause. If you truly have no remorse or regret, then suck it up and deal with it.

But if I'm to be honest, I don't want them to send you to Death Row. Honestly, I don't. It's Good Friday. I'm a nice little Catholic girl. I'd never dream of lying on Good Friday. What happens when someone gets sent to Death Row? They sit around for 20 or 25 years waiting...tax money is wasted...resources are wasted. No...I don't want Death Row for you.

I think the Feds should have a contest. A nationwide contest to determine the method of execution. I've got a few entries in mind. There's a firing squad. That's classic. Maybe right in the middle of Rockefeller Center. Or we could make things more interactive and just turn you loose in Central Park and see how long it takes for you to be hunted down. And yeah, especially today, my thoughts are also drawn to crucifixion. Nasty way to go. Regardless, the final objective would be your head on a stake in the middle of Times Square.

Anyway, however you wind up getting put out of our misery, I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you try to explain yourself to Allah. The things you've done in his name...hehehe...nothing we can do to you can touch what's waiting for you on the other side.