I'd rather have a platypus

A lot of people say that the duck-billed platypus is proof of God's sense of humor. I've got better proof. Way better. And you know what? God not only has a sense of humor, He has a warped sense of humor. Very, very warped. It manifests itself every summer around this time and believe me, it's so horrifying that I block it out the rest of the year.

It's the All-Star game. The mid-summer classic that actually puts my beloved BoSox on the same team as the dreaded Evil Empire. The SAME team! How sick is that??!! Obviously, I want the American League to win but for crying out loud, that means cheering for A-Fraud and Jeter!!! And that's bad enough in and of itself but they couldn't even invite Johnny "He's Dead to Me" Damon along to at least make it worth my while???!!! That's just not right.

Apparently, God didn't get the memo about my new tattoo.