Lions and tigers and bears...Oh my!!!

So tonight is one of those nights. I'm in one of those moods. Sarcasm and attitude are sure to follow. Perhaps even some potty-mouth. I'm cranky, stressed and just plain annoyed with the majority of the world. There are two options available, dear reader. You can deal with it or stop reading. The decision is yours. Make it.

Still with me? Alrighty then...

From what I've read, (and bear in mind that I have an entire bookcase devoted to this sort of thing) the FBI estimates that at any given point in time, there are 30-50 serial killers loose in the United States. Scary thought, right? I won't deny it. But look at it this way: even if you go with the high end of the estimate, that still averages out to only 1 per state. The odds are quite good you'll never encounter one.

Compare this to the number of stupid people. How many of them have you run into? Sometimes it seems like I'm tripping over them. So many people just don't have the brains or common sense that God gave geese. The idiots are out there, folks. LOTS of them. We're seriously outnumbered. And worse than that - they're breeding!

Just think about this for a sec - you need a license to drive. You need a license to get married. You even need a license to have a dog. But you do NOT need a license to have children. I have no doubt one of them is behind the logic in that.

Wondering where this is coming from? I just read an article about two teenaged brothers from Ohio that are going to the state wrestling tournament. Their dad, a federally licensed animal trainer, apparently operates an animal rescue center. Naturally, they've been exposed to different wild animals as a result. Obviously, as with any sport or skill, you need to practice. Who have some of the sparring partners been? Hmmm...well, the older brother says that bears have "ridiculous" strength. Apparently, he also feels they are the most fun to wrestle with. The younger brother prefers to wrestle with young lions and tigers.

Yes, you heard me right. And no, I'm not making this up. I'm serious as a freakin' heart attack. But you know, it's all good, cuz dear ol' dad is "careful" about which animals they wrestle with. WHAT?! Careful?! You let your kids wrestle with wild animals so they can make it to the state tourney and you call that careful?! That's not careful. That, my friend, is what my dear ol' dad (may he rest in peace) would have called...and I quote...

Softer than a sneaker full of shit.