Truth in advertising

Has anyone see this "Townhouse with Groom" story??

www.townhousewithgroom.com

What the hell is up with that?? OK...I'll give the guy a few points for creativity but honestly, the only word that comes to mind is....LOSER! (Actually, being from NH, that would be LOSAH!) Sure, his line of work is admirable. Can't bitch about a guy finding lost kids. Maybe I'm just being overly critical. That's been known to happen before, I won't deny it. But he's been "too busy" finding kids to look for a wife? Let's break down one he's looking for...

This is the quote from the website:

"My future bride ideally will be between the ages of 35-55, is humble, flexible, well spoken of, is an encourager, has a servant’s heart, takes pride in her appearance and one who fears the Lord."

OK...let's start at the end. He wants a woman that fears God. Logical enough. The Big Cheese has a lot of power. Anyone with common sense fears God.

Next...35-55. Cool. He's in his mid-40s. Humble. OK - he doesn't want a chick that is stuck on herself. Flexible. Well, who doesn't want flexibility in a mate? But does he really want flexibility? Or does he want his own way? Here is where my problem starts...

"Well spoken of." Well spoken of? By whom, exactly? Sure, it's a good sign if the person you love is loved by others. But yanno what? My parents raised me to think for myself and not really give a damn about what others think. Well, most others, at least. Yeah, some people's opinions are important, but for the most part....pffft! Who cares?!

"An encourager, has a servant’s heart, takes pride in her appearance." Maybe I'm losing something in the translation, but that sounds to me like he wants a piece of arm candy that is willing to stroke his ego 24/7 and wait on him hand and foot.

And let's not forget that since the townhouse is selling for nearly $100K, he wants someone with some cash, too.

And since he comes with the sale of the townhouse...doesn't that kinda count as prostitution?

I believe in truth in advertising. Had I written his ad, it would read as follows...

"Willing to prostitute myself for the right woman. Middle-aged workaholic seeking pretty servant girl/wife with cash. Must be more concerned with what others think than what she thinks herself. Must be willing to boost my ego when I need it (which is constantly) and must be willing to toss aside what she wants in favor of what I want. Non-conformists need not apply."

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh on the guy...but GEEZ!